Post by starman on Oct 15, 2007 19:09:14 GMT -5
My episode script. 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Chalkboard Gag: It is not 'Al Jean for Jeans day'.
Couch Gag: Fry, Leela, Zoidberg, Bender, Farnsworth, Hermes, and walk in and sit down on the couch.
Amy: "Wait, this isn't Planet Express!"
Fry: "D'oh!"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The family is sitting on the couch, quietly.
(After 10 seconds)
Bart: ...Isn't this the part where someone says something, or something?
Homer: (quietly) Shhh, you're mother's upset.
Marge: I heard that!
Bart: Mom..?
Marge: Go to your room!
Bart: But..
Marge: Now, young man!
Bart: ..Stupid lousy....piece of...
Lisa: ..Um, ..mom? Don't..you think that was a little harsh? Bart didn...
Marge: Go to your room!
Lisa: Alright, alright, I'm going...sheesh.
Homer: ..Marge honey? i..is there something bothering y..
Marge: Can't talk. Keeping myself in a state of cat-like readiness.
(Homer backs away slowly)
(Homer walks to kids' room)
Homer: Boy, non-boy, what's gotten into your mother? She's repeating lines she's said before.
Lisa: Oh dad. Something's obviously bothering her. After all, she does so much for us, and gets so little in return. You just need to give her time.
Homer: ..Do I have to do anything else?
Lisa: *sighs* ..No dad.
Homer: Woohoo!
(Homer at work)
Homer: (staring at Lenny)
Lenny: What's...going on Homer?
Homer: (Lenny morphs into a donut) Mmmmmm, doonuut. (drools)
Lenny: e-eh, take it easy Homer. I'm Lenny!
Homer: Heh, you wish.
(Cuts to Mr. Burns' office)
Mr. Burns: Smithers, who is that fat blob trying to eat one of my employees?
Smithers: Homer Simpson sir. One of your mammals from sector 7G.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? is he..competent? qualified?
Smithers: He tried to prevent a meltdown by bashing a hole in the wall with his head.
Mr. Burns: Hmmm, Sounds a bit over qualified. Well bring him here at once. I have a "proposition" for him. Mwahahahahaha!!
Smithers: Yes sir. Will you..spare this one?
Mr. Burns: I don't know Smithers, are birds pink?
Smithers: ..n-no sir.
Mr. Burns: Exactly.
Smithers: Um, ..right you are sir. But that still doesn't answer my..
Mr. Burns: Go!
(Homer arrives home)
Homer: AAAHH! I mean, h-AAHH-lo sweety!
Marge: Hello Homer, did you remember to take out the trash?
Homer: Uuumm..........Yeeaaahhh.......
Marge: Then how come it's still in the kitchen?
Homer: D'oh!
Marge: (murmurs)...Homie, I need to talk to you about something.
Homer: ("Uh oh, she found the racoon living in the basement!") Um...there's no racoon in the basement dear. You're probably just seeing things.
Marge: Um, ..y-yes. But that really isn't what I'm trying to..
Homer: I said there's nothing up there!
(Bart and Lisa get home from school)
Marge: HOMER, THE CAT RAN AWAY!
(kids drop their bags)
Homer: Whah che! Santa's Little Helper ran away again?
Marge: *sighs* That's the dog Homer..
Homer: ...Oh yeah.
Lisa: SNOOWBALL! (starts crying)
Homer: There there honey, everything's gonna be okay. I'm Santa's Little Helper will return any minute now.
Marge: For gods sakes Homer, that's the dog!
Homer: ...Oh yeah.
Lisa: (sobbing) Doesn't anyone care?!
Homer: Oh relax honey. I mean, the cat could've been better..
Lisa: You baboon! (runs to room)
Homer: Oh not this again..
Marge: Homer, get up there right now and apologise to your daughter!
Homer: Oh Marge. These things work themselves ou..
Marge: NOW HOMER!
(Homer enters Lisa's room)
Homer: Um...hi honey.
Lisa: (sobbing) what do you want?
Homer: I've come to apologize about that cat. We can go to the store and get you a new one?
Lisa: No dad, you don't understand. You can't replace or forget a member of the family!
(cut to Grampa, alone, wearing a party hat)
Grampa: They forgot my birthday..
(Back to Lisa's Room)
Homer: Well, if it makes you feel better, we can go out and look for him?
Lisa: Oh thankyou, thankyou dad! Um, dad? Snowball's a girl..
Homer: (nervously) ..I..know that, honey, I was just testing you...
Lisa: Oh...k. Well when can we look for her?
Homer: Right after Daddy's finished watching TV.
Lisa: *sighs* Forget it dad. I'll go myself.
Homer: Alright, but be careful. I'm not paying for two funerals.
(Homer walks downstairs and sits on the couch)
Homer: Marge, get me a beer!
Marge: We're all out Homer.
Homer: AAH! AAH! AAAH!!
Marge: Oh wait, here's one.
Homer: Fewh!
Marge: Oh wait, that's just Bart's cough medicine.
Homer: Hmmm, gimme that.
Marge: Homer that's for Bart!
Homer: (gulping) All done.
Marge: So, did you sort things out with Lisa?
Homer: Huh? oh....sure, why not.
Marge: (murmurs) Mmm..that doesn't sound very convincing. I'm going to check on her.
Homer: NO! I mean, don't do that Marge. She just needs some time to be alone. You know how these thing are.
Marge: Homer, I know women.
(Walks to Lisa's room, Homer runs up too, trying to stop her)
Marge: AAAH! she's gone! Oh Homer, what did you do?
Homer: Oh relax, she's just gone to look for the cat.
Marge: It's 9:30 at night! ..That's it, I'm going to look for her. You stay here and look after Bart.
Homer: Marge, he's old enough to look after himse..
Marge: DO IT HOMER.
Homer: Well what about Maggie?
Marge: I'm taking her with me. Goodbye Homer. (slams front door)
(Homer walks to Bart's room)
Homer: Boy, I know I haven't been a very good father to you lately. I've just been caught up in work. You know how it is, .....Boy?
(Turns on light, and pulls back Bart's blanket)
Homer: Whah! Pillows?! Why that little! (stars strangling the pillow)
(runs down stairs)
Homer: ..MARGE WAIT!
Marge: What is it Homer?
Homer: Bart's...um...not...in....his...um...
Marge: Oh hurry up!
Homer: He's not in his room.
Marge: ..What?! oh my god....did you check the crawlspace?
Homer: Oh Marge, that's the first place I looked.
Marge: (sadly) ..Get in the car Homer.
(they drive off)
Marge: (anxious) Mmmm...Maybe Ned might know where they are! I'm stopping the car.
Homer: Pfft, Flanders? what's he done for us lately?
Marge: Homer he saved your life!
(they both get out of the car and knock on the door)
(door opens)
Grandma Flanders: Hello, Joe!
Homer & Marge: Aaaahh!!
Ned Flanders: Ohohhohoh, I see you've just met Grandma Flanders!
Grandma Flanders: (turns to ned) Hello, Joe!
Ned Flanders: Soo...neighboureenos, what can I do ya for?
Marge: Hi Ned. I'm ashamed to say this, but...we can't find Lisa or Bart!
Ned Flanders: Ohohohoh, no need to worry, there up-stairs in sleep-didilly-eeping!
Homer: Oh that's it! you steal our children, I steal yours!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Well explain to me this, "Flanders" if that is your real name. How come Bart and Lisa are in your house? I don't see your name on them!
Ned Flanders: Well, here's what happened, I was heading down to church to to ask Reverend for some advice, when I saw your two children on the side of the road with two of god's holy creatures! I'd just reached the door to your house when I heard you two fighting, so I thought it would be best to return them tomorrow, so brought them home to the good old Flanders crib!
Marge: Oh ned, I'm so sorry this happened.. I don't know how to repay you.
Ned Flanders: Ohohoho, you take that back. They've been wonderful.
(Marge & Homer run to their bedroom)
Marge & Homer: KIDS!
Bart and Lisa: Mom!
Homer: D'oh!
Marge: Oh we were so worried about you! (kisses them). Bart, how did you get here
Bart: Santa's Little Helper ran away, so I found him. Then I saw Lisa with Snowball.
Marge: (to Lisa) Where was Snowball honey?
Lisa: I found her up a tree. Santa's Little Helper scared her... Can we go now? Rod and Todd won't stop singing..
Rod and Todd: "And heaven and nature sing!"
The End. ©
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Chalkboard Gag: It is not 'Al Jean for Jeans day'.
Couch Gag: Fry, Leela, Zoidberg, Bender, Farnsworth, Hermes, and walk in and sit down on the couch.
Amy: "Wait, this isn't Planet Express!"
Fry: "D'oh!"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The family is sitting on the couch, quietly.
(After 10 seconds)
Bart: ...Isn't this the part where someone says something, or something?
Homer: (quietly) Shhh, you're mother's upset.
Marge: I heard that!
Bart: Mom..?
Marge: Go to your room!
Bart: But..
Marge: Now, young man!
Bart: ..Stupid lousy....piece of...
Lisa: ..Um, ..mom? Don't..you think that was a little harsh? Bart didn...
Marge: Go to your room!
Lisa: Alright, alright, I'm going...sheesh.
Homer: ..Marge honey? i..is there something bothering y..
Marge: Can't talk. Keeping myself in a state of cat-like readiness.
(Homer backs away slowly)
(Homer walks to kids' room)
Homer: Boy, non-boy, what's gotten into your mother? She's repeating lines she's said before.
Lisa: Oh dad. Something's obviously bothering her. After all, she does so much for us, and gets so little in return. You just need to give her time.
Homer: ..Do I have to do anything else?
Lisa: *sighs* ..No dad.
Homer: Woohoo!
(Homer at work)
Homer: (staring at Lenny)
Lenny: What's...going on Homer?
Homer: (Lenny morphs into a donut) Mmmmmm, doonuut. (drools)
Lenny: e-eh, take it easy Homer. I'm Lenny!
Homer: Heh, you wish.
(Cuts to Mr. Burns' office)
Mr. Burns: Smithers, who is that fat blob trying to eat one of my employees?
Smithers: Homer Simpson sir. One of your mammals from sector 7G.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? is he..competent? qualified?
Smithers: He tried to prevent a meltdown by bashing a hole in the wall with his head.
Mr. Burns: Hmmm, Sounds a bit over qualified. Well bring him here at once. I have a "proposition" for him. Mwahahahahaha!!
Smithers: Yes sir. Will you..spare this one?
Mr. Burns: I don't know Smithers, are birds pink?
Smithers: ..n-no sir.
Mr. Burns: Exactly.
Smithers: Um, ..right you are sir. But that still doesn't answer my..
Mr. Burns: Go!
(Homer arrives home)
Homer: AAAHH! I mean, h-AAHH-lo sweety!
Marge: Hello Homer, did you remember to take out the trash?
Homer: Uuumm..........Yeeaaahhh.......
Marge: Then how come it's still in the kitchen?
Homer: D'oh!
Marge: (murmurs)...Homie, I need to talk to you about something.
Homer: ("Uh oh, she found the racoon living in the basement!") Um...there's no racoon in the basement dear. You're probably just seeing things.
Marge: Um, ..y-yes. But that really isn't what I'm trying to..
Homer: I said there's nothing up there!
(Bart and Lisa get home from school)
Marge: HOMER, THE CAT RAN AWAY!
(kids drop their bags)
Homer: Whah che! Santa's Little Helper ran away again?
Marge: *sighs* That's the dog Homer..
Homer: ...Oh yeah.
Lisa: SNOOWBALL! (starts crying)
Homer: There there honey, everything's gonna be okay. I'm Santa's Little Helper will return any minute now.
Marge: For gods sakes Homer, that's the dog!
Homer: ...Oh yeah.
Lisa: (sobbing) Doesn't anyone care?!
Homer: Oh relax honey. I mean, the cat could've been better..
Lisa: You baboon! (runs to room)
Homer: Oh not this again..
Marge: Homer, get up there right now and apologise to your daughter!
Homer: Oh Marge. These things work themselves ou..
Marge: NOW HOMER!
(Homer enters Lisa's room)
Homer: Um...hi honey.
Lisa: (sobbing) what do you want?
Homer: I've come to apologize about that cat. We can go to the store and get you a new one?
Lisa: No dad, you don't understand. You can't replace or forget a member of the family!
(cut to Grampa, alone, wearing a party hat)
Grampa: They forgot my birthday..
(Back to Lisa's Room)
Homer: Well, if it makes you feel better, we can go out and look for him?
Lisa: Oh thankyou, thankyou dad! Um, dad? Snowball's a girl..
Homer: (nervously) ..I..know that, honey, I was just testing you...
Lisa: Oh...k. Well when can we look for her?
Homer: Right after Daddy's finished watching TV.
Lisa: *sighs* Forget it dad. I'll go myself.
Homer: Alright, but be careful. I'm not paying for two funerals.
(Homer walks downstairs and sits on the couch)
Homer: Marge, get me a beer!
Marge: We're all out Homer.
Homer: AAH! AAH! AAAH!!
Marge: Oh wait, here's one.
Homer: Fewh!
Marge: Oh wait, that's just Bart's cough medicine.
Homer: Hmmm, gimme that.
Marge: Homer that's for Bart!
Homer: (gulping) All done.
Marge: So, did you sort things out with Lisa?
Homer: Huh? oh....sure, why not.
Marge: (murmurs) Mmm..that doesn't sound very convincing. I'm going to check on her.
Homer: NO! I mean, don't do that Marge. She just needs some time to be alone. You know how these thing are.
Marge: Homer, I know women.
(Walks to Lisa's room, Homer runs up too, trying to stop her)
Marge: AAAH! she's gone! Oh Homer, what did you do?
Homer: Oh relax, she's just gone to look for the cat.
Marge: It's 9:30 at night! ..That's it, I'm going to look for her. You stay here and look after Bart.
Homer: Marge, he's old enough to look after himse..
Marge: DO IT HOMER.
Homer: Well what about Maggie?
Marge: I'm taking her with me. Goodbye Homer. (slams front door)
(Homer walks to Bart's room)
Homer: Boy, I know I haven't been a very good father to you lately. I've just been caught up in work. You know how it is, .....Boy?
(Turns on light, and pulls back Bart's blanket)
Homer: Whah! Pillows?! Why that little! (stars strangling the pillow)
(runs down stairs)
Homer: ..MARGE WAIT!
Marge: What is it Homer?
Homer: Bart's...um...not...in....his...um...
Marge: Oh hurry up!
Homer: He's not in his room.
Marge: ..What?! oh my god....did you check the crawlspace?
Homer: Oh Marge, that's the first place I looked.
Marge: (sadly) ..Get in the car Homer.
(they drive off)
Marge: (anxious) Mmmm...Maybe Ned might know where they are! I'm stopping the car.
Homer: Pfft, Flanders? what's he done for us lately?
Marge: Homer he saved your life!
(they both get out of the car and knock on the door)
(door opens)
Grandma Flanders: Hello, Joe!
Homer & Marge: Aaaahh!!
Ned Flanders: Ohohhohoh, I see you've just met Grandma Flanders!
Grandma Flanders: (turns to ned) Hello, Joe!
Ned Flanders: Soo...neighboureenos, what can I do ya for?
Marge: Hi Ned. I'm ashamed to say this, but...we can't find Lisa or Bart!
Ned Flanders: Ohohohoh, no need to worry, there up-stairs in sleep-didilly-eeping!
Homer: Oh that's it! you steal our children, I steal yours!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Well explain to me this, "Flanders" if that is your real name. How come Bart and Lisa are in your house? I don't see your name on them!
Ned Flanders: Well, here's what happened, I was heading down to church to to ask Reverend for some advice, when I saw your two children on the side of the road with two of god's holy creatures! I'd just reached the door to your house when I heard you two fighting, so I thought it would be best to return them tomorrow, so brought them home to the good old Flanders crib!
Marge: Oh ned, I'm so sorry this happened.. I don't know how to repay you.
Ned Flanders: Ohohoho, you take that back. They've been wonderful.
(Marge & Homer run to their bedroom)
Marge & Homer: KIDS!
Bart and Lisa: Mom!
Homer: D'oh!
Marge: Oh we were so worried about you! (kisses them). Bart, how did you get here
Bart: Santa's Little Helper ran away, so I found him. Then I saw Lisa with Snowball.
Marge: (to Lisa) Where was Snowball honey?
Lisa: I found her up a tree. Santa's Little Helper scared her... Can we go now? Rod and Todd won't stop singing..
Rod and Todd: "And heaven and nature sing!"
The End. ©
